Still coming slowly through winter season, becoming aware of process I have been in. My relationship with my body has become my greatest mirror for my relationship with my past. I had surgery last month that revealed stage 1c-ovarian cancer encapsulated in the ovary, which led to a full hysterectomy. Recovery was my mission and I did it well.
However, the next step according to Western medicine was to do preventative chemo to keep it from returning. I was compliant in that old "lets do what they want" kind of way, until I received a clear message to STOP, WAIT and WAKE UP. Which I did. And I cancelled my ticket to chemo and got busy researching the right alternative.
I am a few weeks into Gerson Therapy which is intense and is helping brings up whatever old hidden archives of unresolved and unknown parts of myself that need attention. I am starting to truly appreciate how my body has been my greatest ally really in this lifetime. It has held all of my stress, gotten me where I want to go, absorbed my negative behavior, and taken all the blows of neglectful and purposeful unhealthy choices. My body has been with me through it all and done its best to mitigate the fallout. How amazing is that?
And I am seeing this cancer as the needed wake up call for my further dedication to this body, this vessel without which I could not be here right now. Living my life around it at moments can be difficult. And for all the challenge, I want it to be transforming. I don't want to just get through it so I can continue my lifestyle and go back to sleep. Not just for the reason of cancer but bigger than that. What is my commitment to myself and my devotion to be of service to others? How can I be more of my best self from this experience?
This is my exploration.
So it is my invitation to you as well, to consider this proposition: How could you be more present , more appreciative and more devotional to your body right now? How can we not treat it like task to be managed? How can we listen to its stories of our past and what is needs to let go of now to keep functioning optimally? How can we workout for health instead of perfection and appeasing the inner critic?
I will be sharing over the next many months my process in hopes that it may be helpful in some way to others as it is for me to consolidate my thoughts and name my journey.
blessings and light, Kate