Have you noticed how easily we can fall off of our spiritual path and self-discipline when the #$%**? starts to hit the fan? Especially our health. I recently faced this challenge with some unplanned health issues (as is they are ever planned! ).
Initially I was in such fear and saw my body as betraying me and my safety. I was vilifying this cyst inside me. How easy it was to dislocate myself from my ownership of this tumor, "it's not mine, get it out , take it away...". My death now confronted me. Would I have courage to face my fear and my life with grace?
I awaited for test results. And I began to sit coming back to myself in my daily practice again and again. I began to see how this tumor represented this form of issues from my past, which I had faced but perhaps had not processed completely in my body. Like when we have past trauma memory in our cellular body that needs completing- grieving, letting go. If we cannot face it , we can have body pain and physical symptoms that show us, distract us, guide us to those unresolved places. Could I walk my talk, my spiritual perspectives and faith?
How amazing, I began to see how all of my past stagnation, blocks and fear had accumulated in this cyst. And now I had the opportunity to own all that I have learned from these painful patterns. I wept and held myself. I chose a kundalini kriya for clearing this body chakra to do daily for forty days. Everyday I chose to love my body more and more for helping me face this. No matter the outcome. It is still not certain.
I began to see how blessed I am at this time to clear this and live from a more conscious place in my body, my mind and my soul in this area of my life. Now I can thank this cyst and my body for being my ally and teacher. I am present. I am appreciative of my present life. I can see the beauty in all of my life- the tragedy and the gifts. The are the same to me in this moment. I know I would not be here without both parts. Joy and sorrow are the same frequency at this time. It is all life. And when I can say if I die today, I will be in love not fear and I am grateful for this life- I know I am devoting my focus to my self-discipline to walk my talk the best I can. Sat Nam.