No matter how smart, schooled and sophisticated we can be, we all have fear. And we all can be challenged by it.
We may be a powerful leader and still have places that we cringe from fear and it keeps us up at night.
It’s in our makeup as a human being. Our reptilian brain actually only knows fear and how to fight for survival. It doesn’t recognize peace or contentment. We also have the newer brain, the prefrontal cortex, that opens our capacity for higher learning and consciousness. It enables us to evolve and grow.
Yet it can’t stop us from getting stuck in fear.
Because as mortal humans, it is part our reality. We have been conditioned by our family, culture, and our world since we were born and taught to be afraid.
It’s not our fault. But it is our problem, if we don’t know how to relate to it.
Which can be tricky when fear rarely looks or feels like being afraid. As women, we have learned to try and ignore it, shut it down, run from it, contort it and basically pretend it’s not there.
This is why it is so easy to held back by it.
But it is there. Here.
It just looks more like frustration, resentment, worry, being obsessive, being controlling, over-drinking, over-eating, sleep changes, mood changes, chaos, crises, depressed, panic for no reason, giving up, picking a fight, self-judgement, feeling worthless, feeling angry, feeling lost, feeling unworthy, blaming others, etc…..
It might even change faces, so we think we have successfully evaded it but it is still there.
Waiting for our attention.
Because here is the thing. We may not like fear and how it feels but our fear is ours and it won’t go away until we own it.
If you are resisting something, you are feeding it. Any energy you fight, you are feeding. If you are pushing something away, You are inviting it to stay.
Owning it means, we face it, we feel it and see what it’s really about. What is it’s message for us? Only then, can we choose to address what is the relevant need, want, or desire.
Feelings are a messenger. And we have been taught to devalue and misinterpret the power of feelings.
Your fear doesn’t have to run after you as a panic attack if you would STOP and turn around and face it. It is most likely way less scary and much smaller in person than in our resistance.
Fear only holds us back when we aren’t being responsible to it.
I wrote all about this in my book “Fear-less: The Art of Using Anxiety to Your Advantage.” I reveal the steps of women coming into a new relationship with fear so they can feel more powerful and be the Queen, Heroine and Goddess of their lives. It’s possible, I know because I have done it myself, as well as thousands of women I have helped through it over the past thirty years.
When we can feel more confident in our abilities to address our fears, they will just be part of the process of our leadership, rather than feeling like fears are shameful secret. It won’t hold us back from facing challenges, taking risks and making progress.
This is how we develop true empowerment as a female leader.